“We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”
— The Borg, Star Trek: First Contact
I’ve never been a fan of Star Trek. I remember getting into an argument with a friend when we were kids about which was better: Star Trek or Lost In Space. I argued for Lost In Space. “Danger, Will Robinson.” Who didn’t want a robot sidekick? And who didn’t have a crush on Don and Professor Robinson? But I digress.
Apparently, the phrase “resistance is futile” comes from one of the Star Trek series Next Generation, that I also never watched, but that phrase is what comes to mind when I think about resistance. One look at the definition of resistance–the refusal to accept something–and you can see how it applies to more than fighting aliens.
When we resist something, we push against it. And what does it do? It pushes back. It put struggles and puts up a fight. That’s why the “war on drugs” and the “war on terrorism” have only resulted in more drugs and more terrorism. That’s why, when we resist something in our lives like our present situation, nothing changes. We focus on what is wrong and it grows bigger. We fight it and it grows bigger. We struggle against it and it grows bigger. Obviously, the Borgs were right. Resistance truly is futile.
That’s why giving up isn’t such a bad thing. When we give up, we surrender to the way things are. If we accept our now, we can say, “Okay. It is what it is. Now what?” Not that acceptance is easy, especially when we aren’t super happy with what we’ve created so far, but once we’re aware that acceptance will make our lives so much easier, we will know what to do when we start our mental “woe is me” slide down the slippery slope.
I was lamenting my current situation this morning. I was having a hard time understanding why everything has been such a struggle lately. I realized that I was trying to please the universe by playing the game right. I was trying so hard to think the right thoughts and have the right beliefs so that the universe would grant my wishes and give me what I wanted. Sounds familiar, right? I’m looking outside myself for validation just like I always did with my dad, with my peers, with my teachers, with social media, with everybody. And just like trying to please everyone, I feel like I can’t do enough or get it right enough to please the universe, so my life is never going to be happy. I will never be good enough to warrant blessings from the universe.
So, I’ve decided to work on accepting and appreciating what I have right now. I can’t presto chango my dreams into existence right now. In focusing on what I want my life to look like eventually, I’m inadvertently focusing on the fact that I don’t have it and that makes me unhappy. Then the momentum train starts rolling and I think, “I’ll never have what I want, I don’t know how I’m going to get it, I’m getting too old, what was I thinking? I’m not meant to be happy. The universe hates me. Waaaaaaah!” In accepting what I’ve already created in my life and appreciating it-because it’s not nearly as bad I often think it is-I can focus on what’s next.
In order to keep my mind from wandering into the future or worse yet, into the past, the best thing I can do is please the only person I can: me. I know what I want to strive for. I know the life I want to have. I don’t need to keep punching myself when I’m down because I don’t have it yet. If I had everything I wanted right now, I’d just want something else. That’s life. I’m going to do what makes me happy. Right now. I’m going to quit worrying about what everyone else thinks and trying to please anybody but me.